True but thats because hes a fetus.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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