Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
