So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
