4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
