i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
