Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
