Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
