Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
