1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
