I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
