accomplished twins. life is a go
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
