how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
