you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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