I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize