this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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