Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
