Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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