i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
