Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
