A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize