I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
