Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
