Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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