Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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