return my video game
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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