yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize