I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
