Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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