last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
