so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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