I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize