there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
