So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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