she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
