12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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