Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Couch. On fire.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize