Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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