this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
