She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I have peed in a lot of sinks
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
