We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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