sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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