Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
