What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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