Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
