they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I am naked and annoyed.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
