What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
