perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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