Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
