i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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