Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Houston, we have a squirter
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
tell me about the eggs
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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