Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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