It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
