You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
