You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
