is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
