Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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