I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
