Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
