i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
