JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
