He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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