I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
